MentalHealth —

The Cave

Mon, 02 Dec 2024 01:13:24 +0000

With the first day of December starts the traditional advent calendar. This year, I've decided to make one of my own. A short story written over 25 days.

I only have a vague idea to start with, but otherwise, just like you who will be reading this, I pretty much have no clue where I'm going. I'm just hoping that at the end of the 25 days, I'll have a story that somewhat makes sense. Maybe it will fall flat, or maybe it will be the best sh*t you've ever read in your life (lol). Will I even finish it? Who knows.

So let's set off on this adventure together…

This post was updated daily and is now complete.

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#Fiction #ShortStories #english #MentalHealth

Sandcastle

Sun, 18 Feb 2024 05:30:23 +0000

From the Dark Corners series #10

Reminiscence of a far away storm
A tree has reached the shore
Its bark carrying antique history
In its roots entangled memories

On this shore, a sandcastle waits to be
Gifted back to the sea
Each grain carrying traces of laughter
From the high waves singing to the tree

Souvenir of something I cannot grasp
A horn in the distance
Echo of my heart on a foggy day
Drifting away reclaimed by the sea

#Poetry #english #FromTheDarkCornersSeries #ocean #shore #tree #memory #roots #history #MentalHealth

Unrest

Thu, 15 Feb 2024 03:55:31 +0000

From the Dark Corners series #7

Victim of unrest
A vibration comes
At first a whisper
It becomes a storm
Blurring all the lines
Of your reflection

#Poetry #english #FromTheDarkCornersSeries #MentalHealth #life

Sometimes

Wed, 14 Feb 2024 04:30:53 +0000

From the Dark Corners series #6

I think about death
Sometimes
Whispering in my dreams
Wandering in my thoughts
Sometimes
Shivering above my skin
Until it's time

#Poetry #english #FromTheDarkCornersSeries #MentalHealth #life #death

Just Like That

Mon, 12 Feb 2024 21:30:43 +0000

From the Dark Corners series #5

And just like that
half a lifetime has passed
What have I done
of this moment in time

Seems like nothing
and yet it is plenty

And just like that
the other half has come
What will I do
of the remaining time

Seems like plenty
and yet it is nothing

And just like that
the end will come knocking
What will I think
of the time that has gone

Full and happy, empty and fool
Neither and both, maybe

Life is just like that

#Poetry #english #FromTheDarkCornersSeries #MentalHealth #life #time #age #40YearsOld

No Trace

Sun, 08 Oct 2023 23:02:37 +0000

From the Dark Corners series #4

A machine of
massive destruction
hugging my heart
tight

Rivers flowing through
the crevices of time
reaching for
light

To find only
darkness

Can you hear the call of my fear?
Engine digging leaving me
howling

Am I nothing more than a heap of dust?
Waiting for the wind to blow
Leaving

no trace but trash
to be remembered

#Poetry #english #FromTheDarkCornersSeries #MentalHealth #life #humanity #death

Unknown territory

Mon, 22 May 2023 01:40:55 +0000

From the Dark Corners series #3

It sets off on an adventure
Exploring every corner of this new territory
Creating its own soft hills and valleys
Impervious to the disaster it leaves behind
Coming and going on its own volition
Every morning a new map is drawn
Same process and yet always different
It's itching, itching until it can't be ignored
Like a wave, burning, swelling
Until it's flooding a territory not its own
Its reasons are unclear
And demand further investigation
Drugs can be a way to apprehend it
Although a temporary way
Its deeper motives indeed
Need to be uncovered and comprehended
Only then can it be tamed, and rid for good.

This poem is as raw as I wrote it on the worst morning of a 3-week bout of severe hives and angioedema. It came to me in a wave just like the hives did. Thank goodness it finally got better earlier this week. So this morning, I took a 3hr dance workshop. I was not sure if I should go. First I'm not a morning exercise kind of person, but also my body was so exhausted. My muscles felt weak. I could sense I needed replenishing and I was not sure I could go through a 3hr dance class. But Rianne made it so gentle and soft, inviting and caring. It's probably only in the last hour that I felt a new flow of energy, the liveliness re-integrating my body.

I hadn't realized how much of a toll this whole thing took on me, physically and mentally, until at the end of the workshop, when sharing our thoughts, I was unable to hold my tears. Contained within those tears was a messy mix of feelings: all the stress from both the illness and not knowing why it was happening or how long it would last; all the fatigue from not sleeping well; but also the gratitude of being here in a safe and judgement-free space where I could share those feelings; and the appreciation of being able to deal with this from a place of privilege, privilege of having a great family doctor who cares and listens, privilege of friends and family I can count on, privilege of not stressing about other things like money or housing.

The title of the song for the phrase we danced at the end felt so appropriate. It's called “God Turn Me Into a Flower” by Weyes Blood (beautiful and soothing song by the way). And that's really how I felt, like a flower blooming again after the winter.

I know the hives could come back anytime. And I'm still pretty tired. But for now, I will just be grateful for my healthy and fully functioning body and mind, while having a new understanding and admiration for those who suffer from chronic pain and illness. And I will try to be more attentive to my body, who was probably trying to tell me something worth listening to.

#Poetry #english #FromTheDarkCornersSeries #dance #hives #illness #ChronicPain #health #energy #flow #MentalHealth #gratitude

Stumbling

Sun, 13 Mar 2022 05:28:24 +0000